reasons

i have a million reasons to not be with you. but within your arms, i lose all reason.

firsts

the first everything was with you.

i bet you didn't know that.

the first excited flutter.
the first nervous sweaty palm.
the first flip of my hair.
the first warmth i felt.
the first hand to hold mine.
the first kiss....

did i forget to tell you that?

ho hum....

im so bored!

my well

flesh entombed in the dark, unyielding deepness
wrenching the beat, encumbering the sweet

swimming in the shallows,welcoming the stench of tomorrow's past
every breath, a labor. every smile, a kind of pain.

where there are no words. where there is no solace, although alone.
just the shell holding me. just the transluscence haunting, taunting the depth.

the color is none to be seen. where the rain does not kiss the sun.
the place of want but there are no sighs. not a sound, not even my cry.
not even my scent.

the I.

gud nyt

you woke me. in the stillness of my sighs, with my hands grasping air.
i look at your face, unlined by falling sand
and i flutter.

why...towards the end, all i do is sigh with my breath coming out with whispers of you.

i know you could smell my want
with my hair breathing your scent as i pass. can't u not see me
scream your name?

you came...and my skin is aware of it.
i now know that you can taste my agony of desire,
the need splashing over frightening you with its depth.
and you flee.

you belong with her blush. and i ...am left with my sea.

sky

beyond me.

i see you
with the wind, the waters, the earth..... ahead, beneath and above.
my eyes, my only friend. penetrating the gloss, giving you more than a glance.

i touch you
all i feel is the emptiness of distance, both space and time.
still i feel your strength with your softness. rough but calm.

i smell you
of sea and wood. spice and leather. fresh baked bread.
surrounding my wholeness, seeking inside.

i hear you
asking me, i answer but you cannot hear.
your voice, not just for me.

i taste you
honeyed and salted and strong
sweetness enfolded in brown.

all mine

in my mind. beyond me.

hey fish!

hey fish, i envy you.

Nobody taught you how to swim but you do.
You flip and flop in oceans, rivers, and lakes
with the sun as your lamp in your watery home.

In your place, plants dance to the rhythm of your breath.
Stars wave at you when you pass by.

When you are sad, clams spout white tears.
When you are happy, seahorses jump in joy.

Oh fish, i wish i can cruise waves with you.
I hope to feel the warmth of the seas' sandy bottom,
not just its murky depths.
To lose myself in the anonymity of the blue.